COCKTAIL WIENER ($47) will hire us a truck to help us load in or strike the set

VIENNA SAUSAGE ($100) keeps our website up-to-date during the run of a show

TOFU PUP ($157) pays a week of health insurance for a union actor

BRATWURST mit kraut ($200) keeps the phone and internet running for a month

KIELBASA ($300) could take care of all those props for a show

FOOT LONG WITH THE WORKS ($500) might hire us a production assistant for backstage

GIANT SALAMI ($1,000) could pay the royalties for some of the plays we produce

WHOLE HOG ($2,000) gets those fancy newsletters printed

NAME-YOUR-OWN-DOG ($5,000) pays rent on our rehearsal space for almost five months